Lifting Ramona's Sadness Through Art and Friendship

A devoted mother and wife, grounded by her commitment to her husband and children. This was the Ramona Soto that Dora, a staffer for Taller Puertorriqueño, had first met many years ago. Ramona lived just two doors down on North 5th Street with her husband, Luis, a retired Philadelphia police officer who had taken it upon himself to keep watchful eye over Taller’s bookstore and offices. Ramona’s husband and family were central to her identity, her purpose in life. When Luis succumbed to a heart attack, Ramona was devastated.

Dora hadn’t seen Ramona in quite some time after Luis passed away. With her husband gone, Ramona had withdrawn from the world. She had stopped attending the Mann Older Adult Center where Taller holds workshops and where she and her husband had become regulars. Dora didn’t see her around the neighborhood or at community events. Months passed with no sign of Ramona Soto.

Then one day, Dora saw Ramona back at the senior center. She had returned at the behest of her children, and though she was present her heart wasn’t in it. She had taken to dressing in muted colors out of respect and remembrance of her husband’s funeral. She sat apart from her friends and lacked the desire to take part in the center’s activities. When staff and friends from Mann would asked her to join in, tears would well up in her eyes and she would break down sobbing, “my husband died …we were always together.” Her children were grown up, and her husband had been the center of her universe. Without him she was lost.

Ramona’s friends and family never gave up, and continued to encourage her to participate. But when it came time for the center’s yearly Alzheimer’s and dementia screening, the staff from the National Alzheimer’s Association found Ramona to be depressed and unable to concentrate. Though these weren’t clear signs of dementia, it raised serious concerns about her ability to cope on her own.

Eventually Ramona did started taking part in a couple of the center’s activities, Dora remembers. First, she went along on the center’s trips to Atlantic City, then eventually she enrolled in the Memories in the Making painting class. The class is geared towards seniors with early stages of Alzheimer’s or dementia, but Taller’s staff thought it would be a good opportunity for her to make friends and socialize.

Painting captured Ramona’s attention like none of the other activities had. At first, she painted without focus, scribbling shapelessly only in the corner of the page. But, slowly she improved. Her subjects became recognizable, and then colorful and vibrant. Her demeanor began to improve as well. In class, they played the music of her childhood, and the more extroverted students coaxed Ramona out from under her dark cloud.

By this time, Ramona had completed her first year of the painting class, and the annual student showcase was quickly approaching. The showcase is a joyous celebration of their work. Family is invited and it is a time to recognize all the hard work of the seniors in the class. Ramona was reluctant. When Dora asked her if she would be coming, Ramona worried, “I shouldn’t laugh, I shouldn’t dance. My husband is dead, it would be disrespectful.” Dora answered back, “Ramona, your husband would be very happy if you laughed and danced. You need to enjoy your life!” Ramona seemed unswayed but said that she would ask for her daughter’s opinion.

On the day of the student showcase, Ramona walked through the door to the exhibition and Dora smiled at the sight of her. Gone was the drab funeral attire. Ramona looked like a princess, dressed in a formal pink dress with ribbons in her hair. Her daughter had agreed. It was time that she started enjoying life again. It was time for Ramona to dance and laugh with her friends. She showed her daughter her paintings and proudly proclaimed. “I made it, look at me.”

That was 4 years ago. Since then Ramona has been a regular at the senior center and in the painting class. She is happier now, and though she’s a little more forgetful, her painting continues to improve. On June 27th, Ramona and the other students in her class will have their work for sale at a special exhibit at North 3rd, and they will donate their proceeds to fund future years of Taller Puertorriqueño’s Memories in the Making program and to help others find happiness through something as simple as painting a bowl of fruit in the company of friends.